The Reason
by Pissed Off Poet1
Summary: Based on the song by Hoobastank. Rated for one bad word. When listening to a song Mac finally figures out the reason why Harm couldn't let go, and finds out that he may just be ready.


A/N: Standard disclaimers apply, this song "The Reason" By Hoobastank, and all quotes do not belong to me, there just for the fic.

All quotes are in italics, and the words to the song are in bold print, just so none of it gets confusing. Please enjoy and don't forget to review!!! 

  


(Mac's POV)

On my way to work, there was much on my mind, and the radio wasn't one of them. In fact I don't know why I even had it on. Or even turned to this station. Usually I have the traffic and weather report on, but when I turned on my car radio, it was some local radio station, and I was to worried about my court case to turn it off.

And I'm glad I didn't. 

Waiting for traffic to start moving again, I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel and halfheartedly listened to what was being said on the stationed.

"....so he said if you don't stop, I'll bitch slap you like Richard Simmons!"

Both reports laughed, and I just rolled my eyes.

"So," the other one start. "We don't usually do this, in fact we never have, but it seems that one of our listeners has called in a dedication."

"Oh really?" the other reporter asked. "Who's it from?"

"Well that's the thing, the guy never gave us his name. He only asked that we play "The Reason" by Hoobastank. He said that he wanted this song to go out to Sarah, who means so much to him, and that she would know the reason why. Isn't that strange? Well here is our first ever dedication on G105.9, here's "The Reason" by Hoobastank, going out to Sarah, hoping that's she'll know the reason why."

But at that point I had stopped listening. 

It was to much of a coincidence for it to be for another Sarh from another guy with the message that she would know the reason. The only question is that why was did Harm call this dedication in? And why would he do this? I stopped and listened to the song in hopes that it would tell me why.

I'm not a perfect person  
As many things I wish I didn't do  
But I continue learning  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know....

I don't think Harm ever claimed to be the perfect person, and I know from experience that he has made a lot of mistakes in his life, and never consciously meant to hurt me...

_Mac: I want you to be happy for me.  
Harm: I am happy for you.  
Mac: Really, I hate to see it when you disapprove_ (Taken from the epp. "Baby Deal")

But then again, I suppose Harm has never been happy with any of the guys that I've been with.

_Harm: Brumby and Brumby. 1-800-SUE-Navy  
Mac: What?! It does not say that?!_ ("Retreat, hell")

And then of course there were times when Harm really surprised me...

_Harm: He was right.  
Mac: About me being guilty?!  
Harm: No. About some people being in love with you_. ("Lifeline")

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you

As I listened more carefully to the song, millions of questions popped in my head. Was this Harm's way of telling me that he wanted to change?

_"You know they wrote eternity on this bridge on New Year's Eve?"   
Mac: "Is that how long we're going to wait?"   
Harm: "Mac..."   
Mac: "We're not in Washington any more, we're not even on the same continent."   
Harm: "That doesn't change who we are."   
Mac: "Most men would disagree with you."   
Harm: "I know, I disagree with me sometimes too."   
Mac: "But you still can't let go."   
Harm: "Not yet."   
Mac: "Your just like this with me aren't you?"   
Harm: "Yeah, only with you."   
Mac: "I suppose I should be flattered."   
Harm: "You should Sarah." _ ("Boomerang pt 2")

I'm sorry that I hurt you  
It's something I must live with everyday  
And all the pain I put you through  
I wish that I could take it all away  
And be the one who catches all your tears  
That's why I need you to hear

Listening to the song, I started to get tears in my eyes. And the only thought I had was, that he couldn't have picked a better song.

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is You

_Mac: What do you want?  
Harm: I want a lot of things.  
Mac: What do you want most?  
Harm: What I want most Mac, is .... is to never lose you_ ("Lifeline")

And that reason is you...

_ Mac: Why are you being so nice to me?  
Harm: I'm always nice to you._ ("Baby its cold outside")

And that reason is you...

_Sturgis: Why don't you just get over it and move on.  
Mac: It wouldn't work.  
Sturgis: Why?  
Mac: Cause I'm in love with him!_ ("Capital Crime")

And that reason is you...

_Harm: We haven't finished talking yet.  
Mac: What makes you think we ever will_. ("Measure of Men")

And that reason is you...

As bits and pieces of past conversation run through my head, I am only dimly aware that traffic has started moving again. Putting my foot on the accelerator, my case forgotten, I take a tip back down memory lane.

I'm not a perfect person  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know

_Mac: Have you ever though about how you'd want to go?  
Harm: No...let's get out of here....  
Mac: I want to die like Butch Cassidy and  
the Sundance Kid._  
_Harm: Well, which one am I going to be then?  
Mac: Butch of course.  
Harm: Well that's true, he was the brains  
of the operation.  
Mac: Sundance was the shooter that everyone   
was afraid of._ (Enemy Below")

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you

_Harm: Come to me...  
Mac: I need a better reason...  
Harm: You know the reason _ ("Adrift 2")

Finally getting to the office, I wanted to run right into Harm's office and ask him if he was the one who dedicated that song.

But what if he wasn't? 

What if it was just some coincidence? 

Walking calmly, but shaking inside, to his office I watched as he read from a file and then made notes on his legal pad. Looking up at me, he said nothing, just motioned for me to sit down.

After closing the door, I sat down across from him and waited. But when he said nothing, I went ahead and blurted out what was threatening to kill me.

"I heard the song," I said quietly.

"I was hoping you would," he said just as quietly.

"Why?"

"I thought it was about time that I stop make choices, and started taking chances. I thought if you heard that song...you might understand why."

"Are you ready to take this chance?" I asked, my voice trembling.

"Only if you are."

I smiled and took his hand in mine. 

"You're right Harm," I whispered through my tears, "I do know the reason."

I've found a reason to show  
A side of me you didn't know  
A reason for all that I do  
And the reason is you.

End.

A/N: Can you believe this? SIX pages. When I started this, like oh almost an hour ago, I though it was going to be, at most three. But SIX! I had no idea. But hey, what the hell? ya know.

And I bet your wondering what's going on with my other fic "Some Times No Words Are Needed" Trust me, I'm working on it. 

PLEASE REVIEW


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